Thursday, September 06, 2007

ow, Ow, OW! (Or, The first day in weight training)

Our cast of characters:

Sam (the brave, hasn'tworkedoutinlike...ever heroine)

Sam's Random body parts (thighs, calves, arms, and abs)

The giggly work out instructors (booooo....)


Setting: A gym classroom, mirrors covering one wall. People are setting up their steps, mats and gathering weights.

Sam: Hooray, I'm in my first workout class! I'm going to get really really fit for the wedding!

Various body parts: Hooray!

Giggly Girls: OK everyone, let's start with a warm up!

6 minutes later......

Legs: Hey um....Sam? We're going to try and give out on you, okay? We thought this would be really fun and all, but this squatting shit....it's not for us. So-

Sam: It's okay legs. We're switching to arms. You get a break!

Legs:...well....okay. Maybe after a rest we'll be back to normal

Arms: Shit.

10 minutes later....

Giggly Girls: OK everyone, we're moving on. Feel free to put more weight on, as we'll be doing some arm curls now!

Sam, Various Body Parts: Um...No thanks.

Arms: Wait, why don't we get a rest?

Sam: Because now we're doing arms and standing. It's different I guess.

Left Leg: :::Sh-a-a-ake:::

Sam: Fuck, Left leg, we are only like....20 minutes in. You're already starting?

Left Leg: :::Sh-a-a-ake:::

Sam: You got a rest! Stop shaking!

Arms: Ha. Pussy.

Giggly Girls: (off key singing along with workout music.)

Sam: This effing blows.....

some long ass time later....

Sam: Lunges! I can do lunges!

Abs: Dude....I don't complain a lot...but can we leave? Please?

Sam: Did legs and arms put you up to this?

Abs: (Aside) She's thinking. Stop. Just because you hurt....

Sam: So yes.

Abs: Ahem..Oh, No! Not at all!

Sam: Riiiight

A MILLENNIUM later...

Giggly Girls: OK, now it's time for us to do our cool down....

Entire Body: Yes! Oh there is a God! We love you child's pose, you are amazing!

Sam: (Rolls Eyes) Guys, it wasn't that bad, I think I'll come again!

Next Morning...

Sam: (getting out of bed) Fuck. Fuck!! I hurrrrrttt....

Body: Ha! Serves you right! We are boycotting classes by the way. Stick to the stepper from now on you masochistic bitch!

Fin.

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As you can tell, I had the best time at work out class yesterday....really. Such a good time that my legs are now boycotting stairs, and scream at me the entire walk across campus. Shh...Don't tell them but as soon as I can walk like normal again.....I'm putting them through a spin class too. :)

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